Vampires In Pine Valley
by NiteOwl
Summary: Comical story posted about the possibility of Vampires in Pine Valley - ALSO AMC FANFIC CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT!!!


  


  


Authors Note: I'm mainly posting this story off my website because I want to let everyone know about a contest I've just begun on my website for AMC fanfiction (with several great prizes offered for the winners). Go to http://www.homestead.com/jackanderica/contest.html or email me at JackEricaFan@aol.com for more information. Thanks!! Now on to the story.  
  
_The Vampires of Pine Valley_  
  
_Written by my friend Amy originally posted at www.under-the-influence.net_  


Jack, I've been working on a story that could turn this town upside down," Brooke said as she entered Jack's office. "I need your legal opinion before I publish it." 

"Sure Brooke, I'll be glad to look over it," Jack replied. "What's it about?" 

"I have reason to believe that there is a vampire colony in Pine Valley," Brooke told him. 

Jack laughed. "Come on Brooke, April Fool's Day was weeks ago. What's the story really about?" 

"I know it sounds crazy but it's true. I didn't start out to write about vampires. I just wanted to do a human interest piece on how many people in Pine Valley have come back from the dead. But in doing my research I found out that the percentage of these cases is abnormally high here. The only   
town that even comes close is in Transylvania." Brooke was completely serious. "I also found out that the Pine Valley Bank has only been robbed 3 times in the last 100 years but the Pine Valley Blood Bank has been robbed 40 times in the last year. Don't you think that's a little strange?" 

"Missing blood and dead people walking around all over town. That could be a lot of other things besides vampires," Jack said. 

"Such as?" Brooke asked. 

"....... OK so maybe there are vampires in Pine Valley," said Jack. "But most of the people that have come back from the dead don't fit the criteria. I've seen them all in daylight." 

"That part is just a myth," Brooke said. "True vampires can't spend a lot of time in the sun but they won't disintegrate in daylight. I'm not saying all the people who returned from the dead are vampires. I don't think Stuart is. Marion maybe, but not Stuart." 

"Who are your top bloodsucking suspects?" Jack asked. 

"I think Wildwind is crawling with vampires," she answered. "I found out that no one is buried in the mausoleum. It's just full of empty crypts and designer coffins. There are no mirrors anywhere in the house. Even the cars on the estate don't have rear view mirrors. Besides, just look at the people   
who live there." 

"They are a spooky looking bunch," Jack acknowledged. 

"Jack, there's someone else who may be a vampire," Brooke said hesitantly. "I know you care a lot about her but haven't you noticed that Erica hasn't aged in twenty years?" 

"You're not saying you think Erica's one of the Undead!" Jack was horrified. 

"I don't know Jack. You know her better than I do. Did she ever try to drain you of your life force?" 

Jack blushed. "That's none of your business Brooke." 

Brooke rolled her eyes. "I don't mean that. I mean did she ever try to bite you and drink your blood?" 

"Oh. No, she never bit me. She may have nibbled a few times but no drawing blood." Jack smiled at the memory. 

"Let's talk to her Jack," Brooke said. "Maybe she can shed some light on the vampire situation in Pine Valley." 

"Jack, come in. It's wonderful to see you," Erica said smiling broadly. "Oh, hello Brooke." 

"Erica we need to talk to you about vampires," Brooke blurted out. 

"What do you want to know?" Erica asked calmly. 

"Aren't you at least surprised by the subject matter?" Jack asked her. 

"I'm only surprised no one has brought it up before," Erica said. "May I offer you something to drink? Red wine, perhaps a Bloody Mary?" 

"I knew it!" Brooke exclaimed. "You are a vampire! No one our age can look as good as you do without the powers of darkness." 

"Get over yourself Brooke. I'm not a vampire. I thought about going over to the dark side but I couldn't deal with spending eternity without seeing my reflection in a mirror," Erica said, going over to a large mirror and primping. 

"I told you she wasn't a vampire," Jack said. 

"You only said she had never tried to suck the life force out of you," Brooke retorted. 

"Well Jack, it seems like your memory isn't what it used to be," Erica smiled at him seductively. 

"She's talking about blood Erica," Jack said, blushing again. 

"Oh, sorry, my mistake," Erica said. " Now I suppose you want to know just who the vampires are from Pine Valley. " 

"My guess is it all revolves around Wildwind." Brooke took out a notebook and began taking notes. 

"Good guess," Erica replied. "Dimitri founded the Pine Valley Colony years ago." 

"Did you know he was a vampire when you married him?" Jack asked. 

"I had my suspicions," she answered. "The king size coffin in the bedroom was a dead giveaway. Or should I say an undead giveaway? Edmund is more of a Renfield type. He's not completely a vampire but he's close. Alex of course is a vampire. She doesn't eat often which explains her bloodless look and lack of personality. Outside of Wildwind, Adam and Palmer are vampires. They plan on accumulating money throughout the centuries. Vanessa was already a vampire when she came here from Europe." 

"Who else?" Brooke asked, writing as fast as she could. 

"Leslie Coulson was a vampire. How else do you think she survived the fall from the Chandler Building? " 

"I wondered about that," Jack said. "What about David Hayward?" 

"He's a werewolf, not a vampire," Erica said. "Haven't you noticed how abnormally hairy he is? You should see him on a night with a full moon. It's not pretty, believe me." 

"Vampirism itself isn't really a problem you know," Erica went on. "For the most part the Pine Valley Vampires have been harmless. But things have changed lately. In fact, I was on my way to an intervention when you came." 

"What do you mean?" Brooke asked. 

"Dimitri has been over-feeding. It's one of the vampire world's dirty little secrets. Edmund thinks maybe I can get through to him since I've done the twelve steps." 

"I don't understand," Jack said. 

"Come on Jack, haven't you noticed how good Dimitri looks these days? Not even the best plastic surgeon in the world can shave years off of you like massive amounts of young blood," Erica told him. "Do you remember Scott Chandler? He disappeared one day and no one even asked where he was. They all knew. Vampires have a code of silence. It's the same with Becca. Dimitri kept them in the attic at Wildwind until he drained them of all their blood. Now he's started on an even younger generation. When was the last time anyone saw Petey Courtland or Colby Chandler?" 

"You don't mean..."Brooke gasped. 

Erica nodded. "Snack time for Dimitri. Luckily Bianca knows to be careful but no child is safe in this town until Dimitri agrees to spend some time in the vampire wing at Betty Ford." 

"I'm glad Jamie is at Tad's," Brooke said. 

"Brooke, Tad told me yesterday that he hadn't seen Jamie in a week," Jack said. 

"Aaahhhh!" Brooke screamed and rushed out the door. 

"I guess I should go after her," Jack said. 

"Why don't you stay?" Erica asked him. "Even if I'm not a vampire, maybe I could think of a few ways to get your blood circulating." 

"Now that's what I call a tempting offer," Jack said. "There is one thing. You haven't aged at all Erica. How is that possible?" 

"Just lucky I guess," she smiled. "Oh and Jack, whatever you do, don't look at that portrait in the attic."   



End file.
